


Broken

by DTA2013



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Crime Scenes, Death, Drama, F/F, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 11:17:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3445115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DTA2013/pseuds/DTA2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Agent Down another dead. The team struggling to keep it together and be there for each other as no words could be used as comfort in truth they were broken, their hearts where held in a vice just waiting on it to be ripped through them again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after Ian Doyle.  
> I keep forgetting to place disclaimers so here it is DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters...  
> I also post on FF and fictionpad under DTA2013.  
> ARCHIVING: Only with my permission. I don't normally put this but seems that people are at it again. The only places these stories should be are Fanfiction and Fictionpad. I do not want to have to change the privacy settings on here to only registered users. So please if you find any of my works anywhere other than these sites please inform me many thanks.

One Agent Down and another dead. The team struggling to keep it together, and be there for each other as no words could be used as comfort, in truth they were broken, their hearts where held in a vice just waiting for it to be ripped through them again.

Another week began and the usual bushel and buzz that normally surrounded the bullpen was now a low hum. You could hear the paper being turned but no one spoke everyone was still reeling in the shock, which had happened the week before.

The funeral would be held in another weeks' time. Two empty desks one filled with paperwork, and the other being cleaned away, all their life's work and achievements placed into a brown cardboard box, not one of them could speak each one lost in their own thoughts.

One Agent dead and another only just hanging on by a thread they all prayed for something, some glimmer of hope that they would not be burying another one of their own. In the nine years, the team had been together they had only ever buried one of their own. Emily Prentiss, though six months later she walked back through the doors as though a ghost was before them, her death had been faked. However, this time no one could say these deaths were faked burring one Agent was hard enough but if they lost another one, the whole team would become broken. More broken than they already were, they kept it together holding onto the hope that the agent would make it though they knew that person would be changed forever.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again. They had lost their sparkle they had, had the spirit cruelly damaged as Strauss stood in the doorway taking in a deep breath, after the debacle with Emily and her return from the dead and dealing with her alcohol problem Erin Strauss had changed her whole attitude towards them she did not try to break them up. Even though she should had done for so many reasons that she even had a list locked in the safe in her office. Nevertheless, looking at the now three profilers in the bullpen before looking up at the offices, which had their doors and blinds closed and that was something that never happened.

This was not just a team, this was a family that had been ripped apart from within, as though someone had ripped the heart out of them all and it showed the blank vacant expressions that washed over each other not knowing how to offer comfort and support to each other. These people where the strongest and brightest minds in the country, they loved each other. But Erin knew if they lost this other Agent it wouldn't just be two they had lost it would be in fact three. This was the problem with relationships within the work place, but no one could or would have tried to keep them apart they just fitted together so neatly they even worked as one but now looking into this room, it was like looking into an abyss that had swallowed the entire team.

It was not just the profilers that were broken, but everyone who worked in that bullpen, everyone that had been close to both these Agents were struggling, inside the two teams that worked in this office were broken beyond repair she just hoped if the other Agent could pull through it would help heal them she pushed open the door as she slowly walked in. It was eerie no one looked up to see who had come through the doors they all were just staring at their files, though she doubted they were doing any work her heart went out to each one of them.

The bullpen was a dead hum even the phones were not ringing it was as though the whole building knew they were struggling. Erin had brought another team in to help keep things going but she had set them up in another area, although no work was being done, she also knew they needed each other, even though they weren't communicating with one another, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as she turned around looking at the normally bright bubbly tech annalist who's eyes were dull and broken.

"This isn't right" Erin whispered softly.

Garcia could only nod, no one had spoken much over the past week other than to ask how their Agent was doing no one could bring themselves to mention the Agents names. Because if they did, it would become all too real for them, they dealt with death. Every day they saw the worse that the world had to offer and it did not affect them like it was doing now, but that was partly because they did not know them, these Agents they knew, they worked with them every day. Two were married the other two normally flirted with each other to keep the horrors that washed over them at bay while they chased the killer down. But this they couldn't handle it was too much it was too fresh in their minds, the only other time they had been broken was when Hayley had been killed at the hand of the unsub who taunted them all.

 


	2. Chapter 2

****10 Days Earlier****

JJ strolled into the bullpen she studied everyone for a moment before turning to collect her normal pot of coffee. Emily raised her eyebrow as she watched the blonde shaking her head just as Morgan grinned.

"Thank god she is allowed coffee"

Emily chuckled "Just be grateful you didn't have to live with her for nine months without coffee" Emily smirked.

"How long before she is cleared for field duty?" Reid asked as the three of them watched her.

"I think another month, but her staying at home was driving her crazy," Emily rolled her eyes slightly.

"How is the rest of the family?" Jessop asked, Morgan swallowed as Emily spoke

"They are all doing great thanks, how did your training go?" Emily asked as she looked at Morgan.

"She is getting there, you're a fast learner" Jessop nodded "Did you find it hard?" Emily asked softly causing the three of them to chuckle

"What's so funny?" JJ laughed "Those two wrote the new training course" she studied the newer Agent for a moment before hearing the low warning growl off her wife "Prentiss" she gave a soft warning

Morgan laughed "Emily and I changed the training course a lot, mainly because of things that we have seen or things that have happened, but mainly we use the ones that went wrong" he commented.

"Those would be the ones which got Emily badly beaten, or hit in the head with the handy 2x4 or shot" Reid said earning the now glaring eyes of three agents.

"Thank you Doctor Reid" Emily said as she rolled her eyes.

Jessop's eyes went wide as she looked at her mentor "You got shot" she gasped.

JJ groaned "All three of them have not just Emily"

Emily sighed "I've missed this" she mocked slightly causing JJ to clip her around the back of the head "That's how I always end up with the head injury" as she smiled sweetly at her wife.

The quick paced heals clicking on the floor could be heard moments before the doors opened as Garcia lifted a file up they had only just noticed that Hotch's and Rossi's doors were opened "You get it all Garcia?" she nodded "Everyone conference room" he said as everyone followed them up the catwalk.

Agent Jessop had been with the team for 12 months now, Emily had taken her under her wing with the help of Morgan, they both trained her, she was 24 and fresh out of the academy which made it even better for them, she was someone they could mould to fit in with the team and someone they had hand-picked, since JJ had a very rough pregnancy, well it had been rough from her second month and by the fourth month she had been ordered bed rest by the doctor. In addition, this is why they needed another Agent to go into the field with them. JJ was not happy with it but that was only because she was having to allow someone else to have her wife's back and look after her family. But after a couple of months she had gained their trust and respect and this was why they were putting her through more advanced training messing up wasn't an option anymore.

And it wasn't just the amount of normal serial killers that seemed to clutter up their desks most days, this was because for the past two months they had been trailing a serial bomber, the bomber did stay in one city and state, the sites moved every week, though the method of the bombs would change as though the bomber was trying to perfect their own style. The places they were hitting were crippling them so much that Emily and JJ had pulled their other two children out of school and even Declan were now being home schooled. So far, they had a number of children dead and too many injured to count. They had only been called in when they had come across the same marking on a few of the pipe bombs.

The first bomb, was a car bomb outside a local schools none dead but 25 injured, they never found who it was though it was still an open case it had become cold up until a month ago. The second had been a petrol bomb or Molotov Cocktail, which had been thrown into a canteen full of students killing two children, and maiming 10 others, the locals had arrested a young boy who was known for blowing things up, though the child swore he had nothing to do with it.

They finally believed him on the third bomb since it came with a message sprayed on the front of another school **'You have the wrong boy'** it was a taunt and they knew it. The fourth was a smoke bomb thrown it a schoolyard. No damage done. The last though had all been the same, the past four weeks they had come across pipe bombs, some had nails in them that caused maximum damage.

They watched as Garcia brought the pictures up on to the screen. "This was earlier this morning at Woodlands elementary school. The picture showed windows blown out the whole canteen burnt and tossed around like bentwood; Emily thought the urge to be sick as JJ gripped her hand. They knew that with Emily's past she knew a lot more about bombs than any of them really knew, although this was Morgan's area and she would allow him that grace.

"They have managed to gauge where the explosion came from and this time they found it had been hidden in a school bag, 15 children have died and another 25 are in hospital for treatment for their injuries, Morgan they want you to go and look at the pieces they have found as they want to be sure this is the same person"

JJ bit her lip as she looked at the file "Is there any good news?"

Garcia sighed shaking her head "Not really, I will be going through the footage once I have brought you all up to speed" Garcia smiled.

This had been the only school that had a fully working security system in place, and it had caught the whole thing so hopefully they would be able to catch him, if they were the same bomber and Garcia was already praying it was. Morgan and Jessop were to go to the local station and have a look at the bomb fragments while JJ, Emily and Reid started to work up a profile again using the new method while Rossi and Hotch attended another meeting regarding this. The sooner he was caught the better for everyone and Emily's patience's was already running low.

At first they thought they was looking for a teenager but now as the bombs evolved they were now aiming towards someone in their early 20's Emily frowned as she looked at all the schools that had been targeted. Instead of using her phone Emily stormed out of the conference room and straight towards Garcia's office.

"I like knocking" she commented as Emily swung the door open.

"I need you to pull up any accidents that happened four months ago, that resulted in the death of a child" Emily said firmly.

"Okay you will have to give me a few I will ring you when I have found something" Emily nodded through a sigh as she closed the door again.

Emily was frustrated more than anything, JJ was not meant to be back in work for another month even though she was not cleared for field duty Emily still did not like it. She was just grateful that JJ was on desk duty, their home life though was truly complete three children a wonderful full time nanny, a nice big house they had everything. As this was why Emily was grateful, that the woman of her children was being made to sit at a desk or in the building and not out doing fieldwork and more so since, they had a bomber on the loose in DC.


	3. Chapter 3

Jessop and Morgan returned to the BAU four hours later Emily looked up as he shook his head "Same guy then"

Morgan nodded "Definitely the same guy"

Emily closed her eyes "Why these children? How can anyone hate children this much? Is this. Have you dealt with his type before?" Jessop asked.

"I don't believe we have come across this type before, when people target a school it is normally for personal reasons, bulling, or an outraged teenager feeling as though they have been let down. This unsub is all over, different schools different ages." Reid said.

Emily raised her eyebrow slightly "No statics then?"

"For this kind no" he sighs.

Emily frowns slightly, "I think we need to go back further in the search" Emily said softly as she started to pin prick each school which had been hit.

Each school had been hit during break time, the unsub knew the time since the school varied on the times the students took breaks "We need to find a common link between these schools" Emily stated.

Jessop thought for a moment, Emily watched her seeing her mind working "What is it Jessop?" she asked softly

"How far would you go if your child got hurt"

Emily frowned slightly "I would go to the ends of the earth for any of my children blood related or not" Emily said firmly.

JJ cut in "Where are you leading with this?"

Jessop gave a half smile "Would you hold someone else responsible if something happened at school?"

JJ snapped "Of course we would, they go to school and they are under the care of the" they all answer the last part at the same time.

"Teachers"

* * *

***Flash back twelve months ago***

Billy Johnson was a well-adjusted 10 year old, he had lost his mother in a car crash four months prior, his father had pulled him out of school moving states to give them both a fresh start away from the memories of that fatal day and the events that had led up to the crash. High-speed chase that led to a police car crashing into their sedan.

Billy had started a new school, but due to the injuries he had sustained in the crash he was a social outcast, a target for bullies, he often got teased and beaten by other children, he had reported it to his substitute teacher. Though the teacher ignored it, telling him to give it time, it was a new school and he would soon make friends. Four months later some children teased him about his mother saying it was his fault she had died and he had no right to live. They found his body hanging in the school playground the next day.

Michael had lost his whole family; Billy had told him about the bulling but never said how bad it had gotten. His father had met with the teacher on occasion to find out what had been done about it but the teacher again ignored it. Michael had been told the teacher was now at another school, and there was no record that Billy was having problems at the school.

***End of flash back***

* * *

Garcia made her way into the bullpen with the lists she had managed to enquire, regarding school incidents but nothing stood out to her, there had been a few suicides and mishaps also a few deaths with pranks going wrong, one child had died while playing some sports which was due to a condition called sudden death syndrome which can happen to any child under the age of 16 whom have a per existing heart condition.

"I have a list but it isn't much," she said sadly handing Emily the printouts, she frowned slightly.

"How far back did you go?" Morgan asked

"Six months"

"Garcia go back a year or slightly longer" Reid said softly.

"Also cross reference teachers, for any common sources or connections they may have with schools and children, any red flags on their files, they should be already in the system" JJ said as she watched her wife for a moment.

Emily was worried, they all were the unsub was targeting children, schools the one place a child should be able to feel safe and protected, but now most schools had classes half empty, parents fearing for they wellbeing. Not to mention the anger which was flying at the local police enforcement and also at the team, they needed to bring this profile together before the unsub has managed to hit every single school.

"What if it's a substitute?" Reid said looking at Emily

"Could be but I can't think why the unsub would target one sole" her eyes went wide "if they had abused their authority they would be black listed from working with children, and I am not just talking sexual, trust broken singled out by their peers, ridiculed for either there smarts and grades or lack of grades"

Reid seemed deep in thought for a moment as he felt everyone's eyes on him "You know I was bullied at school I remember telling a teacher about it, and I just got told to get over it and ignore them, which I could have done until I was stripped naked and tied to the football post for an entire day"

Jessop gasped "You’re kidding right?"

Reid shook his head "I was the youngest kid in high school I was an outcast, kids would beat an me if I wouldn't do assignments for them or help them out on tests and things" Emily placed her hand on his shoulder, she knew it got to him still and both Emily and Morgan could relate to him.

"School is the hardest thing to deal with when you're a child or an outcast" JJ commented.

“That it is" Emily gave a soft smile.

Garcia spent the next few hours cross checking names and children teachers and school one name was at every school, he had been a teacher long standing as a substitute for seven months before changing schools. Each school, which had been targeted, he was present at, or was it just coincident or was someone out to get Mr Harper? Hitting speed dial for the conference room she passed on the information she had gathered, Emily said she would go and have a word and see if the lead panned out right now, it was the only thing they had found.

"Jessop you fancy some leg work?" she asked with a smile as JJ glared at her

"Sure"

Emily smiled at JJ "You're not cleared for field work" she smirked

"Just be careful I don't want to have to kick your ass and bust my stitches"

Emily nodded "I always am" the comment caused Morgan to laugh.

"Watch out for any 2x4's" Emily shook her head as they both made their way out of the building.

JJ hit speed dial "Garcia the school he was working at before he started to move around had something happened to make him leave?" JJ asked

"There one thing that flagged up, he hadn't reported a child being bullied, I am running a search regarding it and will make a phone call and see if the principle can shed some more light on him"

"Cheers"

"I shall hit you back shortly"

* * *

Three schools and three stops later they finally found the school which Mr Harper. "You know if we had trouble finding him," Jessop paused.

"The two other schools he only filled in for one day and this one he should be posted at for at least a week" Emily said softly as they waited on the principle "He couldn't be the one who is"

Emily smiled "I doubt it, or the last two schools would have been hit. We just need to rule it out that's all"

"So what information are we hoping to gain?" Jessop asked.

"First we want to find out why he left his long standing posting and why he has been moving around so much, it may be nothing but it also could rule him in or out as a factor" Emily said.

"You think he could be the unsub?"

Emily shook her head "I doubt it but right now we shouldn't rule anything out, keep you mind open and watch his body language sometimes that can give us more insight than the words they use" Jessop nodded as the door behind them opened.

"Agent Prentiss and Jessop this is Mr Harper, the principle introduced him before leaving them alone to talk.

"What is this about?" he asked.

"We are talking to all substitute teachers who have worked in the schools where the recent bombing have taken place and your name has been placed at each school," Emily said calmly as he rose.

"I haven't hurt those children, it is nothing to do with me" he said in anger.

“We aren't saying you have, we are asking everyone, have you had any problems with students or parents or has anyone threatened you?" Emily asked keeping eye contact with him.

Mr Harper looked down as he took a breath, "twelve months ago a parent threatened me, blaming me for the death of his child, Billy Johnson hung himself in the school playground, and he had been bullied. Billy had only been at the school for four months and you know how kids can be." He sighed, "I left, I did blame myself I never reported it" Emily looked at him.

"Why didn't you report it?" Jessop asked.

"He was the new kid, I just thought it would settle down once the other children had gotten to know him and he had made friends, it will be twelve months to the day on Friday" he said sadly.

"Mr Harper, do you remember the father's name"

He nodded "I don't think I will ever forget his name or his sons Michael Johnson is the name of the father" he looked at them sadly.

"Thank you for your time Mr Harper if we need anything else we will be in touch" Emily said as her and Jessop headed towards the door. "If you think of anything else please get in touch" Emily said handing him her card.

Emily rung Garcia as they made their way down the corridor "Hey princess you behaving" Garcia chippered down the phone.

"Always do, can you run a search for me on Michael Johnson, his son Billy killed himself at school there should be some information regarding it" Emily paused for a moment.

"I will get back to you"

"Garcia we are heading back we should be" Emily never finished the phone call. Garcia screamed into the phone as the blast echoed through the line before going dead.

Garcia ran Emily's cell before trying Jessop's both phones were dead, placing the phone down she rang Morgan's trying to hold back the tears and fear she felt inside

"Hey baby girl what you got" he frowned into the phone as he could only hear the sound of her breathing taking the phone off speaker getting concerned looks from the rest of the team he made his way onto the catwalk still trying to get her to answer

"Garcia what's wrong" he asked softly making his way through the bullpen and out the doors.

"Emily" she let out in a sob. He raced down to her office pulling up short when he looked at her.

"Garcia talk to me" he said firmly trying to get her to explain what had gone on.

"She rung gave a name then...then" she took a breath as she looked at him, Morgan could see the fear in her eyes.

"Garcia where are they?" he asked.

"I heard the blast Morgan I can't get hold of her or Jessop"

Morgan's eyes went wide "Which school Garcia," he wrapped his arms around her before letting her go "I need you to try and pin point where the call was made from Garcia can you do that for me" she nodded. Emily had text Morgan earlier letting him know the school that they had gone to was a no go and he was not teaching there anymore.

"Garcia what was the name she gave you before you got cut off" he asked softly

"Michael Johnson" her voice wavered slightly as she spoke.

"I need you to run that name Garcia and please" she nodded knowing he was going to mention JJ. He placed a soft kiss to her head "I need to go back upstairs you think you can forward their location to me when you have it" Garcia nodded as words seemed to fail her.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The doors to the entrance of the school held on only by the hinges as it swayed with the aftershock of the blast, the distinct sounds of children screaming and crying echoed into the smoke filled corridors, teachers trying to get the children to safety and away from harm.

"Son of a" she stopped herself as she eased herself off the floor, the light dimly lighting the corridor, she fumbled slightly to remove the butt of her gun which was pressing against her hip, she groaned slightly.

"Prentiss?" she called out.

"My wife is going to kill me" Emily replied as she rubbed the back of her head "You okay Jessop?" she asked since the dull light refused to give them any vision.

"If I said no would you scream at me" her voice dripping in anger.

"No, but I think I will be once the team get here" Emily chuckled picking herself up off the floor.

"Oh crap, you were"

Emily groaned, "Yeah and I think my phone is slightly bust, is yours working?"

Jessop went to pull her phone out of the clip on her belt "Safe to say it is broken"

Emily sighed "Let's get everyone out," she said though Jessop could hear the anger latent in her voice "And then when we get out of here I am going to find this little" she paused slightly remembering that children could hear her.

"I'll join the cue behind you then" she joked. Emily pulled out her small torch as she located the doors and the safest way to evacuate the building.

* * *

Morgan made his way back into the bullpen seeing Hotch and Rossi walking into the conference room he rushed up the catwalk into the room just as Hotch spoke. "There has been another bombing at a school about fifteen minutes from here" Hotch said as Morgan swallowed.

"We are taking point JJ you will have to stay here I am afraid can you tell Prentiss and Jessop where we have gone"

JJ nodded "I will do they should be back soon" she smiled.

"Hotch can I have a word please" Morgan said his eyes betrayed him as he walked out the room following Morgan into his office.

"What's wrong?" he asked not giving Morgan a chance to explain first.

"The school, Prentiss and Jessop are there Hotch, she was on the phone to Garcia when the bomb went off"

Hotch's eyes went wide the only indication that showed his emotions "Has she been able to get hold of them?"

Morgan shook his head "No" with that they left the room as the rest of them followed leaving JJ alone in the conference room.

"How bad was the bomb Hotch?" Morgan asked.

"We won't know anything until we get there"

Rossi frowned "What's going on?" he asked once Hotch had set off.

"Prentiss and Jessop were at the school" Hotch said firmly hitting the sirens to get through the build-up of traffic.

* * *

Garcia was frantic still trying to get hold of Emily and Jessop "Damn it Emily" she cursed softly as the computers pinged finishing the search on Michael Johnson. She wanted to ring Morgan to let them know what she had found but the fact they did not know how the two others were stopped her, for now she would wait until they found Emily and Jessop.

* * *

Hotch brought the car to a stop just outside the school their eyes cast over the damage, in all honesty the school didn't look as bad as the others had, doors hanging on by a thread, smoke raising out of the main entrance the children looked scared and gathered around each other, fire-fighters damping down the flames which the blast had caused. A medic attending to people whom had been injured and this was when, they heard the familiar voice.

"I want this guy Hotch," Emily threatened from behind. Morgan spun around looking at her.

"Jessop?" he asked softly before walking over to check her over.

"She is fine aside from we are both pissed, that bastard nearly blew us up" she scowled "And I need to ring Garcia" she said with a soft smile.

"Are you both okay" Morgan asked softly.

"Physically we are sore and more than anything Morgan we are pissed off" her teeth ground together "I want this guy's head on a platter and then some"

Rossi couldn't help but laugh "I can tell she is fine, you might want to give her the phone so she can ring Garcia" he pointed out.

Morgan hit speed dial as he past her the phone it answered on the third ring "Please tell me they are okay?"

Emily couldn't help but smile "Aside from being pissed off you mean Pen" she could hear the relief in Garcia's voice

"I am so mad at you Emily Prentiss, this is the fourth time you have scared me between you and Morgan I am surprised I am not dead!" she shouted into the phone

"If it makes you feel any better me and Jessop have a few bruises" she smirked slightly "Did you get any information on that name I gave you?" Emily asked before Garcia had a chance to shout at her again.

"Yes I will send the information to your phones”

"Do you by chance have an address?"

Garcia sighed "I am working on it"

Emily nodded "Thanks Garcia get back to us as soon as you can we are going to be here for a while" Emily said her voice full of frustration.

"Will it start coming out of our salaries?" Jessop asked as Emily laughed.

"If they did that all of us wouldn't have one but I must say five in a month is the record," Emily said with a wink.

She turned to Morgan handing him his phone back "Check your email" Emily said as they all made their way into the command post

"Please tell me our go-bags are here" Emily groaned looking down at her ripped pants and filthy blouse and Jessop's clothes were just as bad.

"In the trunk" Morgan smiled.

"And this is why I love you, any chance your brought a spare cell as well?" she asked as he nodded

"I brought two" he rolled his eyes as they both stripped out of their clothes causing Reid to blush deeply.

Emily chuckled "Reid this isn't the first time you have seen me naked" she smirked causing everyone to laugh.

"You're on speaker baby girl" he said answering his phone.

"Tell my wife me and her are going to have one hell of a talk when she gets back" JJ said not giving Garcia a chance.

"Jennifer I am fine I promise" Emily said softly

"You always get yourself in trouble" she muttered before allowing Garcia to talk,

Emily sighed "I will talk to you in a second Jen okay" Emily said looking at Morgan

"Right I have managed to find three addresses for this Michael Johnson, his has two properties and one that is on a storage yard" she said softly "I have sent the addresses to your phones"

Emily rubbed her head as they said thanks "Garcia can you put Jen on" Emily said taking the phone off Morgan and heading outside.

* * *

"Are you okay Emily honestly" JJ asked the concern showing in her voice.

"Going to need a hot bath when I get back but I promise I am find sweetheart, Jen about what we have been talking about" JJ could hear the sigh and sadness in Emily's voice.

"I already told you Emily, if that is what you want I won't stop you and I will stand by you I promise, it won't change anything. I love you but can you please come home to us in one piece," JJ said softly.

"I love you too Jen and I will try my best"

JJ sighed "You be safe okay baby"

Emily smiled walking back inside "I will my sweet girl" she said softly before cutting the phone off.

* * *

"You two are still as cute as you were four years ago" Morgan commented earning him a playful slap from Emily.

"Behave" Hotch said softly.

"Right Morgan and Rossi will go to the storage yard, while Reid and I will head to the next address and you and Jessop take this one" he ordered "And can you all stay safe and no playing super hero" he gave a pointed look at Morgan and Emily

"Anyone would think he is trying to say it is only us that every gets in trouble" Morgan said causing Emily to roll her eyes.

"Are you surprised with our track record?" Emily said as they all made their way to their cars.

* * *

"You sure you're okay Jessop?" Emily asked as they got into the car.

"Starting to think I should have rung in sick" she joked.

"I second that kiddo" Emily said with a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

Garcia watched JJ as she sighed pinching the bridge of her nose as she flopped into the chair "You okay peaches" she said softly.

"No my stomach is sore, my wife just nearly got herself killed, I have two frustrated children at home and that does not include Declan." JJ said harshly

"How are Henry and Rachael?" she asked softly.

"He has been a handful lately, he misses Emily, two years on and he still thinks she is going to disappear for months he loves her so much and she dotes on him" JJ gave a sad smile.

"And Rachael is well let's just say Emily wants to kick her ass sometimes" JJ sighed "She is 11 has a boyfriend which Emily isn't impressed with at all. She has been caught smoking so gods knows what else she has been doing" she closed her eyes "Everything is just hard right now and with what Emily is thinking about it could be for the best" she gave a soft smile.

"What is she thinking about?" Garcia asked, frowning slightly.

"Nothing you need to worry about. She will tell you when she is ready."

* * *

Morgan and Rossi pulled up near the storage yard "You know I doubt we will find anything here" Morgan said as they walked over to the guard.

"Better to check it out, then not have a look at all" Rossi commented

"True I just don't like the thought of Prentiss being with the rookie, I just worry. I have been her partner for so long Rossi and it is hard to trust someone to have her back"

Rossi chuckled "Jessop has proved herself more than once Morgan. go easy on the kid she will make a great Agent and the way you two have been training her she won't go wrong but allow her to make the mistakes it is how we learn" he nodded

"Mistakes happen, I just can't go through that again, Doyle was bad enough, I am still scared I am going to lose her Rossi and I can't stop that feeling." He admitted

"Morgan we all feel the same"

They made their way to his unit, Michael hadn't paid his fees in six months so they were able to look around, it was bare aside from pictures of his wife and child they couldn't help but feel for this man, his whole family destroyed in the blink of an eye. And all through the fault of someone else. Yes, Billy had killed himself but he had been pushed to end his life.

* * *

Hotch and Reid pulled up outside the house taking a look around at the area it was peaceful the gardens well maintained, children's toys littered each house, door and windows were a jarred as though no one cared of thought about danger coming near them. Even Hotch thought it was a nice safe area the plain field across the way was full of children playing football, soccer, and somewhere in the basketball court, over throwing Frisbees around without a care in the world. They both smiled, this was how children were meant to be. Not a care in the world, giving one last look around the area they made their way up the path knocking softly on the door.

A young girl answered the door she stared at the two men in front of her backing behind the door slightly.

Hotch smiled softly "Is your Mom home?" he asked softly in a hope to reassure the child he wasn't going to hurt them she seemed scared her eyes wide looking at them both.

"Who are you?" she asked

"My name is Agent Hotchner and this is Doctor Reid" her eyes seemed to get wider as though they would pop out of their sockets.

"Is Mom in trouble? Hotch shook her head.

"No we just want to talk to her please" she nodded as she shouted her mother.

"May I help you?" she asked looking at them both, Hotch introduce them both again, as she motioned them inside. "Can you tell me what this is about please?" she asked looking very unsettled.

Hotch gave a warm smile as they all took a seat, "We are looking for a man and his name is registered to this address Michael Johnson, do you know him?"

She nodded "He is my landlord after his son died he couldn't live here no more but he didn't want to sell" her face and eyes showed worry as she spoke again "He's not in trouble is he?" she asked looking at them both.

"No Ma'am we just need to talk to him regarding a matter" he smiled as they both rose "Thank you for your time" she nodded showing them both to the door.

* * *

Emily and Jessop made their way to the final address as they pulled up outside the house, "You ready for this Jessop?" Emily asked as they looked at the dishevelled property in front of them, the garden was unkempt; the house itself looked as though it needed a good lick of paint, and the windows looked as though they had not been clean in years.

"I guess but if I catch something I am blaming you"

Emily chuckled "Likewise, or we can just blame Hotch"

Jessop looked around "Do you even think someone lives here?" she asked as they stepped out the car.

"I have no idea, I cannot see anyone living in a place like this really but some people like to live"

Jessop cut her off slightly "in filth"

Emily smiled "Have you seen my wife's office?"

Jessop nodded "I am surprised no one has got lost in there"

Emily smiled "There has been a few close calls" she smirked as they made their way up the pathway.

Emily knocked on the door, movement could be heard from inside as they waited for the door to be opened "Mr Johnson?" she asked as the door slowly opened, the man nodded his head taking in the two women in front of him.

“I am Agent Prentiss and this is Agent Jessop, would you mind if we came inside and had a word with you please" she smiled warmly.

"What is this about?"

Emily sighed internally "Please Sir can we talk inside" she tried again Jessop sent Hotch a text as the man looked at them both.

"Okay" his voice unsure as he opened the door fully allowing them both inside.

"What is this about" both Emily's and Jessop's face were blank as Emily spoke.

"We are investigating Mr Harper and we was hoping we could talk to you, I believe you have had words with him in the past" Emily said softly, she needed to bide time for the rest of the team to arrive. He looked at them both eyeing them up and down

"He is the reason my son is dead" the anger in his voice was so raw Jessop could not help but shiver.

"May I ask how?" Jessop asked as Emily's eyes glared at her slightly.

"My son was being bullied and he didn't do a damn thing to stop it, he ignored it" he said in anger.

Emily closed her eyes slightly "I am so sorry for your loss Mr Johnson" Emily said calmly hoping Jessop would not speak again, but she was a rookie and the words she uttered made Emily cringe slightly.

"I thought your son committed suicide" Jessop said quietly but it was loud enough for him to hear.

"He was pushed to it, he lost his mother, he was a child he was meant to protect him and he didn't" the venom in his voice was evident as Emily spoke before Jessop opened her month again.

She had made a mistakes, they all had at some point during their early years as Agents but the flash of anger in his eyes sent a slight chill down Emily's spine as she spoke.

"We will be in touch" Emily said rising from her seat, she was going to chew Jessop an new ass once they were outside if he was the bomber Jessop may just have pushed him. Bombers were unpredictable at the best of times but someone who was doing it under severe emotional distress could do something rash.

The smell of burning caught their attention as they made their way into the hallway "I think you need to check your" the explosion from the kitchen ripped through the house sending both Jessop and Emily flying to the ground, the flames engulfed the kitchen as the walls caved in above them. Emily and Jessop both laid their unconscious; Michael had taken the full force of the blast sending him into the window as the glass cut into him.

The house started to burn the heat and smoke stirring the two women "Jessop you okay" Emily said as she coughed.

"Twice in one day what do you think" she fired back.

"Can you move we need to get out of here" Emily said as she turned to see the flames rising high and fast around them.

"Yeah I can." The second blast rocketed through the house, the only noise that could be heard were the flames attacking everything in its path.

* * *

By the time the rest of the team had arrived the house had become a blazing inferno, they looked on in horror "Please tell me they aren't in their" Morgan said under his breath, the sirens could be heard in the distance, they couldn't go inside the flames were blocking the exits and entry as the fire chief stepped out of the cab.

"Sir I need you to step back" he said as Hotch turned around.

"Two of my Agents are in there"

He nodded "We will get them out, but I still need you to clear the area" he said firmly.

The fire crew kitted up attaching the water supply to the hose as they started to dampen down the outside of the front of the house, the team had been moved to a safe distance as they watched on the heat could still be felt as they watched the firemen enter the building.

"Someone needs to let JJ and Garcia know" Reid muttered under his breath.

Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder. "We will once they have come out" he said. They stood in silence all saying their prayers that they were both okay. Though Hotch had his doubts, they had all seen burn victims, and Agents who had not managed to survive a blast from a bomb or the fire.

They saw movement again at the door as they carried someone out, the extent of the burns on the body, made it impossible to detect who it was as the fireman laid the body on the ground, Hotch closed his eyes as the second body came out the only thing that gave it away who they were was the glint of Emily's wedding band.

"Hotch" Rossi, said softly as he pulled his phone out.

"We need to get JJ here" he nodded unable to take his eyes off the two women, they could not tell if either were alive or dead as the medics rushed over. They heard the term 3rd degree and barely breathing as they loaded them both on to the gurneys, before rushing them both to the waiting ambulances.

"There is nothing we can do here, get JJ and Garcia to meet us at the hospital," Hotch said looking at Rossi who nodded.

* * *

JJ and Garcia raced to the hospital and into the waiting room, the team looked haunted "What happened where's Emily" JJ asked in a rushed breath as she looked at them, Reid sat in the corner quite his foot tapping against the floor, Morgan had his head resting in his hands Rossi stood pacing looking broken, as Hotch stood still his arms crossed against his chest.

"There was an explosion Emily and Amy were inside" he said softly, Garcia had tears streaming down her face as JJ looked at him in shock.

"Are they okay?"

Hotch swallowed hard as he spoke "We don't know JJ," his eyes betrayed him.

JJ's knees went weak "Hotch" she said through a shuddered breath.

"Come and sit down" Garcia said softly moving her away to the seats. Garcia held her close as they waited for news.

* * *

They had been sat in the room for three hours without a word, no doctor came no nurses came, JJ had begun to pace after the first hour unable to keep still the worry inside her building the longer they were kept without news. The soft knock on the door pulled them all from their musings, they all stood as the doctor entered the room, Morgan wrapped his arms around Garcia and Rossi placed his hand on JJ's shoulder.

He smiled sadly, as he took in the team in front of him; it always seemed harder delivering bad news to law enforcement than anyone else.

"How are they?" Hotch asked as he looked at the doctor, he closed the door softly behind him.

"You may want to take a seat" He said calmly, they all followed his instruction leaving Rossi, JJ and Hotch standing.

"How bad?" Hotch asked again.

"I am afraid it isn't good news," he gave them all a sad look as Rossi wrapped his arms around JJ stopping her from collapsing onto the floor.

"One of your Agents is on life support, and right now we are unsure of the extent of the damage, she has suffered extensive burning"

JJ's eyes went wide "Life support," she whispered, he nodded, Rossi wrapped his arms around her.

"The other Agent had died before she was brought in."

"Please, we, I need to know" JJ muttered through the tears.

"Ma'am would you be able to get hold of their families please" he asked softly.

"I am Emily's wife, I need to know" she shouted as Rossi held her back.

His eyes went wide as he looked at the distressed woman in front of him "Ma'am," he closed his eyes slightly.

One lady you couldn't make out her face due to the extent of the burns and the other woman had extensive burns to her face, neck and body, the only defining mark they were able to find was the mark of a four leaf clover.


	6. Chapter 6

JJ could feel her legs going weak as she leaned into Rossi "Please" she let out in a whispered breath, "Let me please" she closed her eyes as the tears ran down her cheeks "I need to see her" the doctor looked at her his heart going out to her as he spoke.

"Ma'am, we" he paused.

"You don't know who she is do you" JJ said the fear in her eyes as her voice wavered.

Jessop's body was burnt so badly that you were only able to make out where her hair should start. In truth, she was unrecognizable. The wedding band had been cut off Emily as soon as they had gotten her into the ER a long with her necklace; she had suffered bad facial burns, so he was unable to take a picture of either of them. Due to the fact, a picture can cause more distress to someone than needed.

"Please" JJ sobbed again as Rossi wrapped his arm tightly around her.

"Ma'am,"

JJ finally lost her temper as she spoke "You either have my dear wife in there or she is on life support. Now you take me down there because so help me god if you do not start telling me who is dead you will be" she glared at him as Hotch blocked her line of sight stopping her from saying anymore.

"Doctor, can you take me to see my Agents please" Hotch said firmly as JJ tried to protest

"JJ, please just trust me okay" he said softly as Rossi tightened his grip.

"I can't lose her Hotch I can't not after everything please"

The doctor nodded opening the door, "If you would like to follow me Sir" he said softly as they made their way down the corridor, he took a steady breath as he opened the door to where one of the Agents laid beneath the blanket.

"I don't know if you will be able to identify her, her burns were"

Hotch gave a sad smile "I understand" it was not his first time seeing a burn victim but that didn't stop the nauseous feeling that was creeping up into his throat as the doctor pulled back the sheet over her face. A tear rolled down his cheek for his fallen Agent.

"I need to go back and get JJ" he gave a sad smile as the doctor nodded.

* * *

****Two Weeks Prior****

"Mama" Henry shouted as Emily walked in the front door, she knelt door as he ran towards her throwing himself into her "mama" he whispered as she held her tight

"Hey buddy, I missed you"

Henry looked at her sadly "Mama, going away again?" he said tears forming in his soft blue eyes.

"No buddy Mama just went to work"

Henry frowned "Mama leaving"

Emily sighed sadly this had become the routine ever since she had come home two years ago. She would walk through the doors to have Henry attack her crying that he missed her and scared she was leaving again and it was tearing more and more at her heart.

Not only was Henry scared Rachael was angry with her for leaving her. Garcia had let it slip by accident that Emily was dead, so when Emily walked back into everyone's life two years ago Rachael had become angry and resentful of her. Not just for leaving her but for not telling her, she was okay.

Declan was introduced to them all after Doyle had been killed and the poor boy had witnessed it all as Emily cradled him closed as his father took his last breath, but this again sent Rachael over the edge and had started to act out. It was bad enough to be made to believe that your mother had been killed but then to find out her father had been killed sent her into a rage blaming Emily for everything that was wrong in her life. In addition, when she found out Declan was her half-brother it just sent her to spiral more, she did not speak to Emily she would shout at her. It took months for Rachael to forgive JJ but she came around to her more.

Then Emily had returned to the BAU sending all her children into another nightmare that she would end up dead or she would walk out the door and never come home again. Both Declan and Rachael feared they would turn out like their father but after a year they had become close, Henry still followed Rachael around but was confused who the other boy was that had appeared in his life not understanding why he would stay over at weekends.

Will had been killed shortly after they had informed the team she was pregnant in New York, leaving JJ heartbroken but she knew she was able to turn to Emily and Emily would stay with her, they had dated in the past without people knowing and if JJ was truthful they hadn't stopped, when Will wasn't around JJ would stay curled into Emily's arms as they slept together she would scream her name as they made love. Then the next morning she would be gone as though it had all been a dream, five months before Henry was born they had gotten married shocking everyone on the team.

However, in time they had all come around to them being together, Morgan and Garcia were less surprised with the news though they were angry that they never went to the wedding, everything in their life had been hard for the first two years. Then it became harder as Emily's worst nightmare reappeared threatening her family and her life. She didn't care about her life, but she wouldn't allow her family to be caught in the crossfire and with that she walked out of the BAU in what she thought would be the last time. Which it was for six months. After a year of her return, everyone had forgiven her, but Morgan feared and blamed himself for everything that had happened and when Emily got hurt on a case not long after she came back Morgan was torn and again blamed himself.

Emily sat in the playroom of their house as she cradled the new addition of their family Jessica Rose, JJ had given birth two weeks prior she was half of them both and this is why her mind had been more torn as JJ walked up behind her.

"Emily what's going on baby" Emily shook her head as she placed a kiss on Jessica's forehead.

"Let me but this one down and, we need to talk Jen" Emily said as she turned looking sadly at her wife.

"My sweet girl" Emily smiled as she ran her fingers through JJ's hair.

"I've missed you" JJ said leaning into her touch as Emily wrapped her arms around her.

"I've missed you all Jen," Emily said softly pulling JJ close.

"What's going on Emily?" JJ said as she rested against Emily.

"Would you be mad if I left" JJ sat bolt upright not giving Emily a chance to finish

"You want to leave us?" JJ said as tears formed.

"Jen, please allow me to finish" her eyes pleaded with her as JJ nodded "I want to leave the BAU"

JJ's eyes softened, she had known for a while Emily's heart was no longer there and she had just been going through the motions "No I wouldn't be mad" she replied softly.

"I can't keep leaving them Jen, it breaks my heart that our children think I am not going to come home and it scares me to death that I may not come home to you" Emily said her voice full of tears.

"Whatever you do Emily I will always stay at your side I love you so much baby"

Emily placed a soft kiss on her head as she bit her lip "So you won't shout if I told you I have handed in the paperwork already and I only have a month left."

JJ shook her head "I wish you had come to me sooner, is that why you brought Jessop into the team" JJ asked.

Emily chuckled "Yes partly, I wanted to make sure our family was safe and someone would have my wife's back in the field"

JJ nuzzled closer "I love you Em"

Emily smiled "I love you more Jen,"

****Back to the present day*****

* * *

Hotch walked back into the waiting room his eyes falling straight on JJ as he spoke "Come with me please Jennifer" he said kindly. JJ swallowed hard as he took her hand in his as they made their way down the corridor.

"JJ I need you to remember one thing okay" she looked at him with tears filled in her eyes.

"I can't do this Hotch" she pleaded with him. He gave a soft smile one that only a father could give.

"Yes you can, I need to go and make a few phone calls, she needs you JJ, just remember she is in there and she is fighting, you hold on to that," JJ looked at him as the doctor opened the door.

* * *

She placed on the gowns over her clothes as she stepped into the room, the noise of the machines and whirling sounds seemed to deafen her as she stepped closer. "My god" she gasped, as she got closer to the bed.

Taking a deep breath, she studied Emily her heart breaking more than it did when she had to go into hiding. She turned and looked at the doctor "You’re sure that's Emily?" she asked her voice shaky as she looked at the body in front of her.

"Agent Hotchner has identified Agent Prentiss as soon as we told him about the tattoo on her chest" the doctor said softly as more tears fell.

"It's not a tattoo she was branded a few years back" JJ said sadly as she took the seat next to her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Do you remember the first day we met baby I do I was so mesmerized, your eyes I could have drowned in them and I still can. It was as though you brought new life to us all, your goofy smile that always lit up the room you could turn a really shit day around. We went to the bar a few weeks later, that was the night you kissed me and if I am honest, I fell for you there and then. However, you panicked and ran you were so scared of being hurt of letting me in. You was scared to be loved, you had those damn walls so high around you, but I could see I could tell. My biggest regret was I allowed it to happen. I allowed you to walk away but I hoped or knew you would come back to me in time. We are each other's drug," JJ wiped the tears away, which were forming in her eyes.

"Oh Emily, how am I going to tell our children, how will I explain this to them that their mommy is so poorly that"

Garcia swallowed as she opened the doors keeping her movements slow as she took in the scene around her. The deep burns lined Emily's arms, the bandages seeped as the fluid expelled itself from her body. One side of her face was burnt so badly that even Garcia could not make out her striking features. She closed her eyes before walking closer wrapping her arms around JJ.

"What am I meant to do Garcia" JJ sobbed against her.

"Talk to her let her know you are here and that she is loved by each one of us" Garcia said the emotion evident in her voice as her own tears fell.

"How do I tell our children mommy might not come home again, how do I do this please tell me. Tell me what I am meant to do" JJ said as the sobs wreaked through her body.

"You hold them close as you can and tell them that mommy is fighting to come home and that she will come home"

JJ shook her head "I can't let them come and see her Garcia, not like this" JJ looked at her with blood shocked eyes,

"I don't know sweetie just keep talking to her she can hear you"

JJ looked at her wife for a moment "I wish I could believe that, I want to hold her but I can't even touch her, how can she know I still love her with all my heart, if I can't touch her, I can't give her comfort"

Garcia sighed softly "I don't know sweetie"

They sat there silent, all words gone as they watched the rise and fall of her chest JJ broke the silence. "She is so beautiful, we have wasted so much time six months of being apart was hell, it was torture, worse than anything I have ever felt, but I knew she was safe. I knew she was going to come home to me in one piece. I knew we could overcome it, but our children two years and they still have nightmares that she died. Henry still thinks she is not going to come home, this is going to kill him. She had two more fucking weeks left, two more weeks and then she would have been away from this all. She was leaving Garcia, leaving the BAU. That was why she picked Jessop, that was why she had done everything she has, she wants our children to feel safe and secure in the knowledge that she is safe, but she isn't."

"She's leaving?" Garcia whispered.

"She is, her heart wasn't in it anymore, every time she would walk into our home her heart broke a little more as Henry hangs to her not wanting to let her go, he didn't and doesn't want her to walk out that front door. Rachael is the same although she is still mad at her. She blames her for everything and now she is going to blame her again. First Will dies and now my wife is hooked up to fucking machines just to keep her breathing how the hell is this fair. What the hell did we do to deserve this shit?" JJ moved away resting her elbows on her thighs her face resting in her hands.

"You know Elizabeth was so mad when we got married or maybe I should say after she found out we had gotten married. I honestly thought she was going to kill Emily and then me. She was mad because we had done it behind her back, but we did not want a big huge wedding and we knew you all would have insisted on it. Instead we got in the car with Rachael one day and just did it and we should have done it sooner, hell we had been dating since the second week she had joined the team well a month or two later, only because she panicked so badly, she was so scared to let anyone close, to allow herself to be loved. She is so damn well stubborn, but right now I need her to be stubborn and hold on for us, I need her to fight, you hear me Emily you fight damn it, because I need you, our children need you please baby. Don’t you dare leave me not again."

* * *

The knock pulled her from her thoughts fears and uncertainness as she looked sadly at the nurse "Ma'am I need to change Emily's dressings" JJ nodded as she looked at Garcia.

"Can I come back once you’re finished please, I need to make a few phone calls" JJ said as she stood on shaky legs.

"JJ you want me to ring them?"

JJ glared at her slightly "No, I have to do this no one else, she is my family they need to hear it from me" the sadness and anger broke Garcia's heart as they left the comfort of the room.

* * *

"You want some company JJ?" Garcia asked as they made their way down the corridor.

"No I need to be alone to do this, just go and be with them, and Garcia I do not want anyone to go and see her not like that" the firmness in her voice shocked her.

"But JJ"

She glared "No, she will never forgive me" with that she walked away leaving Garcia to break the news to the team their family.

JJ could not deal with them she could not deal with the pity, she could not deal with the raw emotion that she felt inside as she pulled out her personal cell phone leaning against the cool wall of the entrance to the hospital.

* * *

"Ambassador Prentiss please" JJ said as the phone was picked up.

"She is in a meeting right now can I get her to ring you back Ma'am" the sectary said kindly.

"I need you to get her on the phone please, her daughter has been in an accident" JJ said as the tears formed again in her throat.

"Who is this?"

"Jennifer Prentiss" the line went silent for a few moments.

"Jennifer what's wrong?" Elizabeth said softly into the phone.

JJ could hear the worry in her voice as she spoke "Its Emily she's been badly hurt you need to come, please Elizabeth"

She gasped down the phone "How bad?"

JJ swallowed as the sobs ripped through her "S…sh…li..fe…Su..pport" JJ stumbled over her words as she heard the phone drop to the floor.

"Jennifer I will get home as soon as I can, which hospital"

JJ tried to slow her breathing "Memorial"

"I will ring your mother sweetheart okay" JJ sighed softly grateful of the offer, she couldn't even speak as her emotions took over. "I will be their darling, I promise. You just stay strong" the line went silent as she disconnected the call.

* * *

"What do you mean Garcia" Morgan said in frustration "That's my partner in there" his said in anger.

"How can she tell us we can't see her it's not right?"

Garcia slumped into the chair as she sobbed out her answer "I don't know" Rossi walked out the room leaving everyone reeling in the fact that JJ had in fact thrown them out as he made his way outside for some fresh air.

* * *

JJ sat her eyes closed as she said silent prayers to god praying for him to help pull her through this to bring her wife back to her. "How you doing kiddo" Rossi said softly.

"How do you think" she more a less spat back.

He sighed sadly "Don't push us away JJ, your both need our support" he said calmly, he wanted answers in truth and he hoped he could get them.

"I am not," sad dull blue eyes met dark hazel eyes "She would never forgive me if you saw her like that Rossi, it would destroy her" he gave a sad smile.

"You mean destroy you, we are family and we need to stay together" she shook her head.

"Just not yet please I need to be alone with her please" he could see the fear in her eyes as she spoke and he understood on some level, she wanted to say goodbye just in case she lost her.

"We will be here kiddo, but there is something you need to know" she frowned as she looked at him.

"When they entered the building Jessop had protected her, JJ, Amy saved her. They have said if she hadn't been covering Emily's body she wouldn't be here"

JJ looked at him wide-eyed "She did that"

He nodded "You hold on to that, you hold on to the fact that Jessop saved her to keep her safe for you kiddo and you know Prentiss will fight hard to be back with you"

JJ nodded "I just want to be alone with her right now, I need to work out what to tell our children" the tears formed in her eyes again.

"You tell them mommy is poorly and they need to say prayers for her and she will be home when she is better"

She gave a coy smile as she stood up "I need to get back to her"


	8. Chapter 8

****11 Days Later****

JJ walked numbly into the bullpen heading towards her desk her eyes raked over Emily's desk then to her friends but she couldn't talk to them she couldn't voice what she wanted to, Henry was with her mother and Elizabeth, Rachael and Declan had become more like ghosts. JJ had explained what had happened to them both, they were angry they did not believe her. So four days after Emily had been in hospital JJ took them both to see her, she didn't want them to feel lied to it broke her heart more. No child should see their parent like that but in truth; she needed them to say their goodbyes just to be safe.

She had finally allowed the team to visit on the sixth day and they also broke their hearts, they could not talk to one another, this was all too much. The doctors had spoken to JJ asking her if they could take Emily off life-support in five more days just to see if she was able to breathe on her own. She had swallowed hard and only nodded her response. She was trapped in her nightmare.

* * *

****Turning off Life-support****

JJ swallowed hard as she sat in the chair next to the bed desperate to hold her wife but the only area that was free of burns was her legs, she carefully placed her hand on Emily scared that she might hurt her. She watched the doctors as they removed the breathing tube. They need to see if Emily could breathe on her own and JJ also needed to know her wife was still in there fighting to come home.

The heart monitor kept a steady beat before a spike then it dropped slightly as JJ heart sunk more the doctor smiled softly, which confused her until she looked at the slow rise and fall of Emily's chest, for the first time in eleven days there was a glimmer of hope.

"Is she in pain?" JJ asked knowing if she was not on life support she, more than likely could feel everything that her body has and is going through.

"We have her heavily sedated but she may still be able to feel some pain but Mrs Prentiss, this is a very good sign. Emily has a very long road ahead of her but this is the biggest step of all"

JJ nodded as more tears formed "thank you" he smiled softly at her.

JJ hadn't left the hospital much only to make sure she tucked Henry in and to make sure Jessica at least had two feeds off her so she could keep that bond, because knowing her wife Emily would blame herself if she lost the bond with Jessica.

However, this was the biggest hurdle seeing if Emily could breathe on her own and JJ could not help but smile with pride, the love of her life, the mother of their children was fighting to come back to them. She looked across the room towards the door as she smiled softly for the first time in eleven days, the smile was not a sad one it was a smile full of hope.

"I need to" the nurse nodded knowing what JJ was going to say "I need to apply Emily's cream"

JJ took a breather, she always left for this she always walked away not wanting to see her strong proud Emily go through hell not wanting to see what she couldn't touch but now something had changed inside her as she spoke.

"Would you be able to wait about ten minutes please, I would like to be here when you change the dressings. I just need to let our family know"

The nurse smiled brightly at her "Of course take your time" she said softly.

* * *

JJ made her way slowly down the corridor to where Sandy, Elizabeth and her children were waiting she opened the door as she looked at the worried faces, she couldn't hide the smile on her face as she spoke.

"She is breathing on her own" and it was in that moment that JJ finally let the full extent of her emotions out as Rachael wrapped her arms around her.

"Mamma" JJ pulled her close, three years ago she had officially adopted Rachael

"My princess" she whispered though the tears laid evident in her throat. She pulled back as she looked at Declan; he classed her as his Ma and Emily as his Mom. Rachael gripped his hand as she stepped back allowing her Grandparents to come closer.

"The doctor said it is a very good sign" she whispered Sandy and Elizabeth knew JJ need to put a voice to her feelings she had been so shut down around everyone pushing everybody away under the total fear she was going to lose the one person who made her whole.

"Is Mom in pain?" Declan asked looking at her sadly; she smiled reassuringly at him as she rested her hand on his cheek.

"They are trying to manage her pain right now but they just don't know" he nodded as his little sister wrapped her arms around him.

"Can we see her" JJ chuckled slightly the first sign of life in her voice as she spoke

"The nurse just need to change her dressings and then yes, I am going to go back and help but I promise I will come and get you once the nurse has finished" Rachael nodded.

"Ma, Henry asked us to give Mom something" Declan said softly as he pulled out a small card which consisted of Henry's painted hand and his unsteady hand writing **'miss you mommy'** it was a simple exchange but it pulled on her heart.

He was Emily's little prince, he was one of the sole reasons why she was leaving the BAU, and JJ knew her job was at the back of her mind somewhere deep inside. Strauss had told her to take as much time as she needed. They all knew JJ could not and would not be able to focus on her job not with Emily so badly hurt.

"Ma can I ring Auntie Pen" Rachael asked.

JJ nodded "Of course, give her my love okay" Rachael nodded as JJ again made her way out the room and up the now very familiar corridor.

* * *

"Rachael?" Garcia said as she answered her phone, hearing a soft sigh followed by a shuddered breath "What's happened what's wrong" she fired out in quick succession

"Mom can," she couldn't get her words out as Elizabeth took the phone from her before she panicked the whole team.

"Penelope" she said softly down the phone.

"Is Emily"

Elizabeth cut her off kindly "Emily has been taken off life support and is able to breathe on her own, Jennifer wanted us to let you all know" the line went silent for a moment "Penelope are you still there?" Elizabeth asked.

"Ma'am can we come please?" the tears laced her voice, JJ hadn't really spoken to them, she had closed down and all the team wanted was to be there for her and Emily but JJ had closed herself off through fear

"I think she would like that" she said softly.

"Thank you"

* * *

JJ watched as the nurse cleaned and changed her dressing her eyes saddened slightly, she missed looking into her deep soulful eyes that gave her more comfort than any words could, her strong arms that protected her from everything they saw and faced in their job. Emily Prentiss was her rock. She kept everyone together while they were nearly falling apart but JJ knew how insecure she could become and how frightened her wife truly was, for years she feared love off another, scared to get close, scared of being hurt. To the extent that Emily had pushed her to have a relationship with Will, JJ did regret it in some sense but when she would look at Henry she could not for one moment regret the choice she made.

* * *

"Jen where are you, this hurts so much and I don't know why" Emily said as she walked around the quietness of her home "Where the hell are you Jen, I need you to make it stop please baby" Emily called out as the tears streamed down her face. The blurred figure that stood looking out the window, Emily could make out the dark hair and just her figure as she spoke.

"There is no one here Emily just us" she spoke softly

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked not fully recognising the voice.

"Emily we were in an accident" she replied softly, Emily took a deep breath as she felt her body course with pain, the tears falling again "It's going to hurt for a while Emily," she said softly.

"You didn't answer my question" Emily said through gritted teeth as she tried to control the pain.

"What do you remember" she asked.

"Going to talk to the bomber" Emily said closing her eyes again.

"We did talk to him Emily" she said softly.

"Amy, what's going on" Emily asked as confusion ripped into her mind.

"I am only here Emily because they need you to fight, your family needs you to fight for them"

Emily frowned causing another sharp stabbing pain to course through her body. "I always fight for my family, its why I am leaving the BAU"

Jessop chuckled "I know the reasons you want to leave Emily and I know you will do but you need to understand that you have been badly hurt" she said softly not once turning around to look at her.

"If I have been" she stopped for a moment "Where is everyone?" she asked

"They are at the hospital at your bedside Emily,"

Emily laughed "This makes no sense" she replied shaking her head.

"We were caught in an explosion" she whispered.

Emily's eyes went wide "Amy" she whispered.

"I am here Emily but you have to understand this is your mind doing this not mine" she whispered.

"How bad were you hurt Amy"

Her shoulders slumped as she spoke "I didn't make it," she heard Emily gasp slightly

"This doesn't make sense, why the hell do I hurt so badly"

Amy chuckled slightly "because it does and it will for a while but your wife is at your side begging you to hold on," Emily frowned again "Emily you can't give up promise me, I don't have much more time here before your mind closes itself off due to the pain just promise me you will fight and never give up please"

Emily closed her eyes slightly "I promise"

* * *

JJ looked on as she saw a tear fall from her wife's eye, the machines beeped more rapid as the rise and fall of her chest quicken. "What's going on" JJ said as the fear laced her voice, watching the nurse place a syringe into the IV bag.

"I have just given her some more pain killers, her body is fighting JJ its healing but she is also feeling some pain that is why the machines spiked and they may do it again when she needs more pain medication"

JJ looked at her sadly "Emma I don't want her to feel this please" JJ pleaded with her as she watched the machines become more steady and her chest started to rise and fall slowly

"I can't make that promise, but we can help manage it. This is a good thing though, it means she is healing but it is early days yet, just keep talking to her she can hear you and it will bring her comfort" she smiled softly as she finished placing the last bandage on her.


	9. Chapter 9

The funeral was nice, well as nice as any funeral could go, all of the bullpen attended all expect Emily who was still sedated in hospital, JJ had gone to the funeral knowing that if she didn't attend and Emily knew that she would be mad at her because as Emily once said the dead need to feel love as well, there is nothing more sadder in life than being at a funeral and being laid to rest alone. JJ never understood it but Emily always said things that JJ couldn't get her head fully around it was partly why she was grateful that both Emily and Reid could understand each other.

Emily had explained that when she had died after Doyle even though it was only for a short period of time, she could feel our presence and it helped to keep her grounded and a reason to fight, and it was when they had met up in France that Emily made her a promise to always fight to come home alive to always be at her side, and that was one promise she wanted and needed to keep.

* * *

Emily had been in hospital for the past six weeks they had begun to lower the dosage of pain medication, in those six weeks Emily had gone through five operations for skin grafts, they cleaned the burns that remained now every three days and they were healing, somewhat still angry and blistered red and raw. JJ stayed at her side through everything and to her she was still the most beautiful thing in the world, her heart still ached to be able to hold her, although she took some comfort being able to rest her head near her with just enough contact to reassure her she was still there and alive.

* * *

Rachael and Declan had been there for her as much as they could but they did relent slightly when JJ made them both go back to school under the threat that if they did not Emily would ground them and take away their monthly allowance. Henry was confused and scared missing his mommy greatly and it showed, he would run to the door when she opened it only for his little shoulders to slump and his sad eyes bored into JJ.

He would sleep in Rachael's arms most nights waking up screaming for Emily it broke all their hearts. JJ had promised that once mommy was feeling slightly better he could go and see her, but she just did not know when that would be. Emily had made no signs of waking up. However, the tears that sometimes slipped from her eyes gave JJ hope that she was slowly coming back to her.

Her raven locks were slowly growing back in the places that her hair had been burnt away from, luckily, her scalp had only been mildly burnt and her hair once it had grown would hide the scars, which would remain there. Emily could wake any day now, they had run tests to make sure there had been no damage to her brain since she had arrested a few time during the operations that she had undergone and that does not include when she arrested on arrival to the hospital which they had only just managed to bring her back.

* * *

A deep rumble pulled JJ from her light sleep her fingers gently resting against her wife's stomach "Jen" came the raspy weak voice that sounded as though Emily had been smoking 30 woodbines a day.

JJ's eyes snapped open as she struggled to reply it had been too long that she had gone without hearing her beautiful voice.

"Je" her voice failed to get the words out as JJ managed to find her voice against the tears streaming down her face.

"Thank god" she mumbled under her breath before open her eyes lifting her head to look into the most smouldering deep chocolate eyes she had even seen "Emily" Emily went to speak again as JJ just smiled as much as she wanted to hear her voice she knew it would be painful. The slight gasp brought her back from her thoughts.

"Shh, baby don't try and move okay" Emily looked at her in confusion as she watched her stand up.

"You're in hospital baby okay" Emily tried to nod but the movements hurt her body as she whimpered slightly. "Emily listen to me okay" JJ said softly as brown eyes locked with hers "I need you to keep very still okay, you have been badly hurt" she smiled lovingly at her.

"Blink twice for yes and once for no. Do you understand me baby" she asked softly earning herself two blinks from Emily "Good, are you in pain" again Emily blinked twice as tears escaped her eyes "Okay darling the nurse won't be long I promise" JJ smiled as she gently wiped the tears that were seeping from her eyes.

"My beautiful wife" she smirked, the soft knock on the door pulled JJ's eyes away from Emily's as she spoke softly "Don't move okay Emily" she didn't even need to look as the familiar nurse walked in.

"Is everything okay JJ?" Emma asked JJ smiled softly the enjoyment and happiness lighting up her eyes.

"Someone woke up and is in pain" the relief seemed to drag its self away from Emma's body as she walked over to Emily

"Hi Mrs Prentiss my name is Emma and I have been looking after you, JJ tells me your in pain so I will just give you some more pain medication and then we can see about getting you a drink" Emily blinked twice at the nurse her throat felt like it had been rubbed in sandpaper she swallowed which caused a mounting of pain to shoot through her body.

"Emily look at me" JJ said softly as Emily opened her eyes unshed tears welled in her deep chocolate eyes. "Breath through it baby" she said softly.

Emily's voice rasped "It hurts" her eyes pleaded with JJ's wishing she could take the pain away.

"I know darling, I know the medication should be helping you soon I promise darling.”

"What happened" JJ closed her eyes slightly as she swallowed deeply.

"Let the pain medication settle in first and the nurse to come back with a drink and then I will tell you okay," JJ said firmly as she watched Emily carefully.

* * *

The cool liquid that ran down her throat soothed it as she breathed out, Emma had told her to take it easy and she still needs to rest her voice but JJ didn't care about that right now she was just happy to be able to look into the deep soulful chocolate eyes of her wife and bathe in the comfort that she was awake.

Emily's eyes fluttered slightly "Just rest Emily I will be here when you wake okay baby"

Emily mumbled her reply causing JJ to chuckle. The familiar mumbled of **'not sleepy'** fell from Emily's lips as her eyes closed taking her in to her dreams of peaceful slumber.


	10. 10

Over the past few days Emily had drifted in and out, if it was not the pain medication sending her to sleep it was the pain waking her up, her body screamed at her, it was as though with each movement her skin was cracking and splitting, some parts still burned, and it would bring tears to her eyes. Emily's voice had become slightly stronger as she gazed sadly in to slightly dull blue eyes.

"I am so sorry Jen" Emily said softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" JJ's mind was split at the moment, not one of them had told Emily about Jessop and if they were honest they did not know how to.

"What is it Jen?" Emily asked as she gazed into her JJ's dull eyes.

"I need to tell you something and I just"

Emily gave a sad smile "Jessop, I know about it Jen"

JJ frown slightly "Oh"

Emily closed her eyes slightly "How bad is it Jennifer, I need to" Emily swallowed thickly. The doctor and nurses has told Emily she had received burns but Emily had yet to see them, and she knew deep down that JJ would be honest.

"Emily, there's going to be scaring, one side of your face has started to heal but there will be scaring and you have to be careful in the sun" JJ gave a soft smile as she saw the tears build in Emily's eyes. “The worse burns are to your arms and hands, they have already done skin grafts they are just waiting to see if they have" she pause unsure how to explain what the doctor had told her.

"Jen," Emily's voice was thick with emotion as she looked at her.

"You're going to need physical therapy, but they should heal, your neck and up chest will also heal, Emily" JJ whispered looking into Emily's eyes "If Jessop hadn't have protected you like she had you wouldn't be here"

Emily swallowed again "Will I scare" she couldn't even finish what she wanted to ask as JJ smiled and for the first time in weeks she placed her lips softly against Emily's

"You are not going to scare him and you know he will want to kiss your boo-boos away"

Emily nodded "and you"

JJ's eyes went wide as she looked at her "Don't you dare go down that line of think Mrs Prentiss. I love you and I still love you and this happened and it doesn't change anything" Emily nodded as JJ claimed her lips "My beautiful girl" JJ smiled.

Emily moaned slightly when JJ pulled away. Emily looked at her as she saw the sparkle that seemed to be missing come back into JJ's eyes "My sweet girl" she whispered "I will always be yours no matter what our life and work throws our way" Emily nodded as a smile ghosted her lips, before she frowned slightly "You need your pain meds" JJ smirked causing Emily to nod.

"I want to see them Jen" Emily's eyes pleaded with her slightly.

"Rachael and Declan will be here after they have finished school," JJ said softly

"Henry and Jessica?" JJ gave a sad smile.

"They aren't allowed baby, not until you have moved rooms,"

Emily's eyes fell "I need to make sure he knows I haven't left Jen, I need him to know I am coming home, please Jennifer I" Emily couldn't help the emotions that over took her. Henry had already ripped at her heart, every time she walked back into their home.

* * *

The medication finally took over dragging Emily into a deep sleep, JJ got up and walked over to the nurses' station "Emma how long before she can be moved she wants to see our son" JJ said, she knew deep down Emily would not be happy until she had seen her little boy and he knew she was still here.

Emma smiled "We should be able to move her in a few days."

JJ sighed, "Can he come and see her now then,"

Emma sighed, "We can't allow him onto the ward" she said softly.

"It would help her so much please, hell I will even pay extra just so she can see him, they both need it" JJ couldn't help the tears that were falling down her cheeks, she had kept it all so tightly wound inside her, but seeing the look on Emily's face when she told her she couldn't see him yet broke her heart.

* * *

JJ made her way outside after being told again she couldn't bring him in to see Emily a soft voice pulled her from her thoughts as the tears still ran down her face "Jennifer, what's wrong" Elizabeth asked taking a seat on the bench next to her.

"Emily wants to see Henry and they keep saying no, they need each other Elizabeth" JJ broke down as Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her.

"I know you have asked me not to but I am going to make a phone call and see what I can do" JJ nodded against her. Placing a soft kiss on JJ's head "I will be back shortly" she whispered before leaving.

Elizabeth spent the next hour on the phone speaking with Mark the manager of the hospital she got him to agree to allow Henry to see Emily before Elizabeth could have chance to move her to a private hospital where she would be allow to be with her family. They both agreed it would be the best thing for Emily and help her to heal.

* * *

JJ walked through the front door of their home as the small blonde hair boy ran straight towards her, "Hey little man" JJ said as she picked him up.

"Mama?" he questioned still looking at the door hoping Emily was going to walk through it.

JJ smiled at him "Let's go and sit down mommy needs to talk to you" she said softly

"Mama gone?" he asked sadly.

"No little man but I need to talk to you about Mama" he nodded against her as she took him into the front room

"Hey Mom" she smiled as she sat down pulling Henry close against her.

"You want me to?"

JJ shook her head "Your fine Mom" Sandy smiled as Henry sat looking at her before turning around to look at his Mom

"Mommy" he said softly

"You remember me telling you that Mama got into an accident and is in hospital" Henry nodded. JJ couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips.

"So you understand Mama is very poorly and we have to be very careful with her"

He frown slightly "Mama"

JJ nodded "Yes buddy, now would you like to go and see Mama but you have to promise you will be gentle"

Henrys eyes went wide "MAMA!" He shouted.

"Yes buddy"

Sandy looked at her "Are you sure that's a good idea JJ?"

JJ glared at her Mom "Yes he is her son and they need each other and also he is going to have to see her at some point" JJ could not help the anger that came out in her voice.

"Jennifer, I did not mean it like that. I don't want him frightened"

"Henry go to your room please, and find something to take to Mama," she said softly.

She waited until Henry was out of the room. "How dare you suggest that him seeing his Mama will upset him. Do you know how much damage it is causing from him not being able to see her?"

Sandy sighed, "You know I didn't mean it like that. How can you take him to see her when she"

JJ closed her eyes "I wasn't asking you to come Mom, I was asking Henry and if he can't deal with the fact that Emily is different now, then he can't, but he will get used to it in time, everyone will. She is my wife she is the mother of my children and I love her as much as the day I say I do and if you cannot understand that then you are not welcome" JJ's voice was dangerous.

A soft hand wrapped around her waist "Mom?" Rachael said softly seeing that her Mom was angry.

JJ pulled her close to her as she spoke "Mom I am not asking for you to deal and be okay with it, I am telling you that I will do anything for my family and if that means upsetting you because you think my choice is wrong then that is just fine. However, I will not keep those two apart any longer. Do you even know what it did to him when she disappeared for six months?" Rachael leant into JJ's frame closing her eyes slightly.

"Jennifer that isn't the point, her scars are very fresh and you do not know what effect that could have on him, he is at a young impressionable age and"

"I don't believe you just said that" Rachael soft voice came "You think my Ma is going to scare him, what because she is poorly because she has scars? The scars on her body never upset him before and if it does I am here to take care of him and explain and so is Declan" Rachael could not help the words falling out her mouth. Racheal and Sandy always got along from the second they had met but she was much like Emily and had a temper if anyone upset her Mom or Ma. "He is my baby brother and if I thought he needed to be protected it would be me and Declan that protect him"

JJ closed her eyes "Rachael" she said softly.

"Jennifer, I just don't want him" Sandy sighed, she was worried about the effects of him seeing Emily or it doing more harm than good to them both. "You do not understand what I am trying to get across either of you. If you take Henry and he sees her and gets upset because his Mama looks different who is going to feel worse Emily or you Jennifer? What do you think will do more harm, him not seeing her until she is out of hospital or putting him through that?"

JJ shook her head "He is my son and I think I know what my own son needs, you forget Mom I have dealt with things like this in my job and keeping him away and not allowing him near her will affect him more later than it will now, so if you don't mind I need to go and get him ready"

The stress of the weeks had driven JJ and her family to the brink where they would argue say things that they did not mean but it was all due to the worry the not knowing and the waiting. Nevertheless, everyone knew Henry needed this; he needed to know his Mama had not abandoned him again; he needed to see that his Mama has been hurt but she is still there and she has not left him again.

* * *

They made their way down the corridor JJ had done her best to explain that Emily looks different and that he had nothing to be afraid of, part of her prayed Emily was asleep just in case this went wrong and part of her hoped she was awake to see him.

"Now Henry you remembered what I have told you"

He nodded "Mama. Hurt and looks different and to be quite"

JJ smiled and nodded "Good boy" she whispered.

He frowned for a moment "Mama knows me coming?" he asked.

"No buddy it's a surprise to help make her feel better" a bright smile crossed his face as they entered the room.

Emily was still asleep as they made their way into the room "Mama" Henry whispered as they made their way closer to the bed. His eyes grew wide as he looked at Emily his eyes filled with fear as he looked at JJ. "Not Mama" he said.

JJ closed her eyes "It is buddy I promise," she whispered as he looked at Emily again. He frowned, as his eyes looked at her face his little hand reached out to her as JJ brought him closer to the bed.

He couldn't make out if it was his Mama, the burns still angry on her face the swelling had gone down slightly, he study her for a moment. "Down" he looked at JJ, she placed him on the bed next to her as he frowned again his hand reaching for the top of her gown.

His hand gently touch her causing Emily to wince slightly and stir her from her sleep "Jen" she whispered not opening her eyes as she felt someone tug on her top again. Henrys eyes went slightly wide as he moved the top, it was the mark he knew and it was in that second he knew that is was his Mama. His fingers traced the mark he could see on her chest as Emily opened her eyes, she knew that touch she knew the smell.

"Mama!" he shouted hoping to wake her.

A smiled broke across Emily's lips as she spoke not wanting to open her eyes to see his face not wanting to know what his eyes or mind was thinking. In truth, she did not want him to be scared "Hey buddy"; she whispered as tears slipped down her cheek.

"Mama got bad boo-boo" he said as he moved up the bed. JJ could not help but laugh seeing what he was about to do. His fingers hovered above Emily's face. He use to do this when Emily pretended to be asleep his fingers softly touching her eye lids to open them "Mama wake up" he said as Emily opened her eyes looking straight into sparkling blue eyes.

Again Henry study her face before their eyes locked together familiar brown eyes looked back at him with so much love as more tears formed spilling down her cheek

"My little man" he shook his head "You're not?" she asked as she swallowed the fear flashed across her eyes as he grinned.

"Mama's buddy" JJ had warned him how sore Emily was but it still didn't stop him from laying against her side his hand softly falling into her chest "Mama got bad boo-boos"

JJ ran her fingers through his hair as Emily let the love from him wash over her. "Mama will get better soon," JJ, said softly looking lovingly at her wife who mouthed the words thank you to her.

JJ placed a soft kiss on her lips as she whispered. “You both need this"

Emily nodded as she tried to move her arm to hold him slightly. "I love you buddy" Emily said her voice still thick with emotion.

"Love Mama"

* * *

JJ sat in the chair Henry still curled into Emily's side, Emily's hand gently resting against his back both of them asleep as the door opened softly, JJ looked up placing her finger to her lips as both Rachael and Declan walked in, Elizabeth stood behind them both holding Jessica.

"I thought this one might want to see her Mommies as well" she said softly as they all made their way in.

JJ took their daughter into her arms as Rachael made her way over waking her brother up so Declan could pick him up off the bed.

"Hey champ, Grandma came to see you" he said softly as sleepy blue eyes looked across the room.

The moment at the side of her caused, Emily to stir slightly "Bu" her voice wavered slightly unsure if it had been a dream and worried if she opened her eyes he would not be there.

The soft gurgle pulled her awake as her eyes looked and saw JJ before falling on their daughter. The tears fell again as she saw her family stood at the side of the bed she closed her eyes slightly "I love you," she whispered as JJ placed Jessica next to her.


	11. Chapter 11

****

Over the past few weeks Emily had been through four more operations she had been moved onto a different ward, which she was grateful for since it allowed her family to visit, Henry was still slightly unsure when he would look at her but the redness had lessened on her face leaving scars in its place. JJ had been there to hold her hand through it all but now all Emily wanted to do was go home.

She wanted to be back with her family and not just see them for a few hours a day; the team would visit if they were not on a case. Garcia had tried to get her to think twice about leaving the team to which Emily would say it was done and nothing could make her return. The lack of movement and feelings in her hands played on her mind more than anything. In truth, she was unsettled in her own skin.

The pain was now a dull ache and she had begun her physical therapy, which she found hard but like everything in her life she would hit it head on, pushing herself more than she should, her skin hurt with the movements as though it was stretching. She had seen herself once in the mirror and refused after that to look at herself, which worried JJ but she could understand.

Emily blamed herself for Jessop's death but the dream she had played on her mind. She owed it to herself and to her family not to give up. Not to allow her own demons to rule her mind. She had become more guarded than ever she would push JJ away or try to stating that she was ugly and she should leave. It broke JJ's heart but she paid little attention, her wife was on self-destruct and she was desperate to push the button.

"Jen I want to go home please" Emily said as soon as JJ walked through the doors.

JJ gave a soft smile "I know you do Emily, and I wish you were allowed to but you can't" JJ said softly as she walked over to the bed.

"Why not, I am awake I can" she closed her eyes.

"Emily, listen to me okay, you have to stay in for a few more days and it is not because of the burns it is because I need a few more days to get things set up at home"

Emily looked at her the frown lining her face "What set up?"

JJ sighed "You can shout and scream at me when we get home okay, but if you are coming home there is no way in hell you are sleeping downstairs" JJ said as she looked fiercely into sad brown eyes.

"Jen, we both know I can't" she swallowed thickly as JJ cupped her chin.

"That is way I am having a stair lift fitted so you can and also had to get the bath altered so you are able to get in without it hurting" JJ kept her voice soft as Emily tried to turn away from her.

"You shouldn't have to look after me" Emily said her voice angry at the thought of being able to go home and knowing she still wasn't able to do things for herself.

Emily was use to looking after everyone else protecting everyone else and now the tables had been turned and JJ was left with the job of caring and protecting her instead, and though it really shouldn't matter it made Emily feel as though she was letting her wife down again, letting her family down.

"Emily, we are married and we always look after each other, just please baby I want you to come home, but unless these are in place they won't allow you out of here." JJ said as tears formed in her eyes. "I want to curl into your arms so badly Emily and I want you to curl in to me" Emily gave a soft smile as JJ reached down for her hand.

Emily closed her eyes at the touch before looking back at JJ, "I just don't like feeling"

JJ smiled sadly "You Agent Prentiss are anything but weak" JJ eyes glinted in the light as she looked into stormy blue eyes that held so much trust and fire she couldn't help but believe her words and bathe in her strength. Her eyes became heavy as sleep started to claim her body as she mumbled out the words about wanting to go home again. JJ could not help the soft chuckle that left her lips despite everything Emily still hated the hospital.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Finally I am allowed home, Morgan is coming to collect me with Jennifer since I need her to help me dress, I do not understand how she can look at me, how she can tell me she loves me. I am no longer the woman I was before I am half of her. My legs do not work, my skin is burnt I have more scars on my body.

My skin is tight, cracked and so sore but I promise, I promised not to give up, not to give in. I am more worried about my little man, I see the uncertainty in his eyes as he looks at me, and I want to scream I am still in here, I have not gone anywhere. Jessica is too young thank god she will our only child who will grow up to see me like this and not as I was before. Nevertheless, this was the job this was the path the course of action I choose. I had two weeks left, two weeks and I could have turned away from it all.

The only redeeming feature is because this happened at work and not on my last day they get to pension me off, great isn't it, thanks for being blown up here is some money. It is a sick joke; I want to go and visit Jessop and pay my respects to her for saving me, for giving me my life, so I can be with my family.

I do not want Jennifer to pity me or stop working because she loves it more than I had, it was the reason I was leaving, coming home to a broken family that is still healing now, after being away for six months. Two years ago, my life changed and now it is changing again. They say I will get use of my legs again in time, which is something right?

The word I want to use is deformed that is how I see myself now, as I wait in this room for my wife to arrive, I could drown in her eyes even with all this and her looking so tired they still shine as bright as the day I first met her, and there she is now the woman I love walking through the doors.

I try to smile but the effort hurts my face, it pulls on the healing scars, "Hey baby" JJ says as she walks over running her fingers softly through Emily's hair

"My sweet girl" Emily says as soft lips meet her own.

"You want to get dressed before Morgan gets here" she smirks knowing the answer as she pulls out the clothes at the side of the bed.

Emily nods as she swallows hard, "Help me?"

JJ chuckles "Of course I'll help you." JJ wraps her arms around Emily pulling her close "I love you so much Emily" JJ could not help the tears that fell.

She thought this was never going to happen she thought Emily was never coming home with her again. "Shh, darling it's okay" Emily whispered pulling her close.

"I thought I lost you Emily" JJ said as she looked into loving brown eyes.

"I will always come home to you my sweet girl" Emily said softly.

"Right let's get me dressed, last thing we need is Morgan poking fun at the length of time it takes me" JJ couldn't help but laugh, out of the two of them Emily always took the longest to get dressed everything had to look perfect not a single flaw on her skin or clothes and that was only because she wanted to look her best for JJ and that was the only reason.

Before they had gotten together Emily could be dressed within five minutes, but the day they met Emily took longer, it was the standard joke between the team, she wanted to look her best for her wife. In Emily's mind, JJ could have done so much better than her, but they fitted together.

Even when she had been with Will they still were intermit, and when JJ had fallen pregnant and after Will had died there passion only grew, Emily was dominate, she was the protector of their family and JJ for one loved it, she felt safe and loved and sometimes it was just a look that made her feel complete.

"How longs is he going to be Jen?" Emily asked as JJ helped her into the wheelchair.

"He should be here any second unless he is chatting up a nurse" JJ mused.

Emily became quite as the time went on, JJ brought her back to the present with her words soft and gentle. "Are you sure you're ready for this Emily?" JJ asked, it wasn't that she didn't want Emily home, it was because despite the front and the walls which she would hide behind. JJ knew this was going to be a huge adjustment not just for Emily but also for their whole family.

"As ready as I will ever be. Jennifer I just want to sleep in my own bed and hold my wife," Emily said as she looked into passionate eyes.

"Then my love that is what shall happen" JJ smirked. Emily looked down averting her eyes away "Emily what is it baby" JJ asked softly.

"You didn't sign up for this Jennifer," Emily said as tears formed in her eyes.

"Emily look at me" JJ said softly as she cupped her chin not giving her an option, "We both know with our job we are going to get hurt, we are going to get caught in the crossfire, I love you so much our children love you so much, this" JJ motioned "Does not change who you are, it shows you have survived and if you need me to remind you I will do every day." Keeping her voice soft but firm as she placed her lips on to Emily's "if I couldn't fall asleep in your arms I would die Emily. You are everything to me, you are my strength," Emily nodded as JJ wrapped her arms around her tightly "We will get through this baby I promise"

They were pulled out of their embrace by a soft knock followed by Derek Morgan and Garcia "Hey princess you ready to go home" Emily eyes went slightly wide as the realisation hit her. There was no way she was able to get into the car, and there was also no way she would allow someone to lift her up.

"Jen" Emily whispered, as she looked into soft blue eyes.

"Shh, I rented a car," JJ had already thought of this problem as Emily gave a sigh of relief.

She may be hurt, unable to walk and dress herself but there was no way she would allow anyone to help her, other than her wife, they all knew how proud and stubborn Emily was, and this was why Emily had to wait a few days longer before she was allowed home JJ wanted to make sure everything was in reach for. A stair lift had been fitted, and because JJ could not manage to lift, her or the fact that she knew Emily would not allow her to she had a track hoist fitted so she was able to get into the bath. Once she was allowed too, which to both their relief would be in another week, in all JJ had changed their home so Emily could be as independent as she always had been.

"Right let's get moving before they change their minds and keep you here" Morgan said with a smile, Morgan motioned for JJ to move so she could walk with Garcia and he could stay with his partner. Like JJ Morgan had thought he had lost her again.

"Thanks" Emily whispered as they started to move out of the room.

JJ and Garcia walked in front carrying the bags. Making the way down the long corridor Emily couldn't help but sigh, it had been weeks since she had felt the sun on her skin, be able to breath in the fresh air, she couldn't help her eyes squinting as they adjusted to the bright light of the sun the warmth attacking her skin. Which she would admit hurt slightly as the rays fell upon her skin.

JJ opened the back of the car lowering the lift down as Morgan got the chair in, getting in behind her so they could sit together before they started the journey home. She could not help being reminded of two years ago the journey back home the uncertainty of what would lay behind the doors, what welcome she would get off her children, would they be happy, would they be angry. They made their way through the familiar streets down to the gated community.

The nerves began to set in as they pulled into the driveway, the butterflies settled in her stomach much like they did before they would break down the door to an unsubs home, the adrenalin of what laid behind, if they had been fast enough to save the person, and if there would be a huge sigh of relief when the team came out unharmed. It was the strangest of feelings, when you have not seen your home in what seemed for forever it looks different, even the air seems different.

The soft hand rested on her shoulder pulling her from her thoughts "You ready sweetie" JJ asked softly.

"As ready as I'll ever be" Emily whispered as the doors opened and the lift lowered allowing Morgan to bring the chair out. Even JJ could feel the waves of anticipation coming off her, but that was only because of her own. It felt she had waited a lifetime to bring her wife home.

As they made their way towards the house Emily became more distant than she had in the short journey home, the worry of what laid behind the door scared her, had her on pins and if she wasn't confined to a wheelchair she would run and not open the door. Once the door was finally open the wave of fear disappeared as the small blonde hair boy hurled himself towards the door he arms reaching up to his Mama. Emily could not help the tears that escaped her eyes as JJ lifted him up so he could sit on Emily's lap his little arms wrapping around her.

"Hey buddy" Emily whispered as he placed a kiss on her cheek it was the same action he had done when she had finally come home all those years ago soothing the scars with his undivided love and she could bathe in it forever.

"Missed you Mama" he whispered loudly causing for the first time in weeks Emily to laugh. JJ ran her fingers through his hair as she placed a kiss on his brow.

"I see we are back to normal and I no longer get a welcome home" JJ mused.

"Love Mommy," Henry said happily though his arms stayed wrapped around Emily as they made their way inside.

The team and all their family were there to welcome her home, each one of them had gone through the worry that this day wouldn't come that they would be attending her funeral instead, but now larger than life its self was Emily, as they all greeted her with hugs and kisses, JJ couldn't help but laugh as Henry refused to move he was planted against her so tightly but she couldn't ask him to move even though he was slightly hurting her. Even JJ would not move him because she knew her wife needed this she needed her little boy in her arms and feel his love and know he still loved her, the same as he had when she first held him in her arms after JJ had given birth.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Five years ago today my world changed, the life I knew was ripped away at the seams, so much has happened in these five years and I am thankful for each and every day. My life changed for the better when that bomb went off, I know that sounds strange but I can truly say it. Each year me and Jennifer take the short car journey to the cemetery so I can go and pay my respects, she leaves me at the graveside because even now it still hurts, she saved my life and hers was taken so cruelly.

Amy received a commendation for her actions that day she truly would have made a fine agent after everything me and Morgan put her through the extra hours of training, everyone thought we should go easy on her but like me and Morgan said until we are happy that she has had the best training she was not allowed to go into the field without me or Morgan at her side.

The first year I came home was the hardest, I attended the physical therapy three times a week to regain feeling and use of my arms and hands, it hurt so much not being able to hold Jessica and cuddle up with Henry, he never left my side once I was home and me and Jennifer was truly grateful that his nightmares came to an end once I was home. We often would wake in the morning to find him curled up on our bed with his head on my lap. In addition, since I could not feel my legs he never woke me but between his love and the rest of our children, I began to heal more.

And if it wasn't for the strength of my wife I wouldn't be here living my life, she gave me the will and the determination to fight, I did tell her about the strange dream I had in the hospital where I promised Jessop I would fight and wouldn't give up and how could I give up I have so much to live for.

It took a full year for me to gain full use of my legs again and on that day I took my first steps Jennifer was there to see it, and when we returned home the team was there to see it as well, that was also the first time I fully broke down in front of them, though I will admit I fell straight into Morgan's arms when I did.

We are still as close as we were when we were partners; Jennifer and Garcia still say we do not need to go looking for trouble because it always finds us. And it is true we go out to the bar and we get ourselves in trouble,

The scars have faded and I underwent surgery once more to minimize the scaring on my face, now the only parts of my body which show how badly the burns where are my arms and chest, Jennifer is still with the team at the BAU and I could not be more proud of her.

Not long after the accident she also had a bad accident in the field, Morgan tried to blame himself but I had to remind him it wasn't his fault and the injury wasn't that bad, it was though the first time she had gotten shot and it scared her. It was then she stepped down as a profiler and now is back sitting in her office, which is full of files, she is back as the communication officer.

Strauss finally stepped down, leaving Hotch to take her place, which left Morgan to step up and run the team, though he still even now has an active part, though he does not travel with them, and in all honesty, it was better for young Jack, who is turning into a fine young man. He made it into the school soccer team and now travels with them to matches, which we all try to attend work permitting.

We are a family and we have such a strong bond with each other, Rossi is still the loving father figure and god father to our children, though he does tend to spoil them but every year without fail he takes a holiday dragging all of our children away with him. He is now married to a woman who was already close to our hearts and our family. She had been with us so long, she was Rachael's nanny and she still looks after our children now when I have to work away.

Garcia finally got over her fear of marriage and her and Kevin rekindled their relationship, two years later tying the knot, Morgan was so proud when she asked him to walk her down the aisle, they still flirt with each other and she still keeps their spirits up when they are away on a case. She always gives us comfort and brightens us up when we look at the horrors and the sheer chaos that has befallen people. She gave birth two years ago to a beautiful baby girl.

Jennifer's heart and mine sored when she named her, and asked Jennifer to be her godmother, so we now have Catherine Louise, Catherine was her mother's name but Louise was or I should say is JJ's sister's name. Jennifer had tears in her eyes but true to Garcia's form she told us, even though she had never met her that we are family and in our family names and ties to each other should be kept going.

Hotch remarried we all attended the wedding, young Jack did them both so proud and even more proud when Beth became pregnant giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, we all called it the curse of the BAU since there have been more girls born within our team than there has been boys, Jack was given the job of naming her and after a long talk with me and Jennifer we all sat down, and there it was Hailey Maria was born.

Reid is still spouting off more facts and luckily, the new member of the team was able to take my place Blake. She understood him and they could talk for hours over things they had read and they worked closely together so after 12 years Reid finally has a permanent partner in the field. Two years ago, her husband returned home and has been fully discharged from the army. He is now a training officer within the FBI.

Morgan my beloved friend and partner finally grew up and settled down, and again Hotch worried over the whole inter department relationship. Which thank god has now been abolished, Sofia is the younger member of the team and Morgan fell for her the second she walked through the doors, much like the way Jennifer and me fell for each other. After two years of the whole, I do not do relationships he finally relented. However, there is no sign of wedding bells yet.

As for Jennifer and me, well we could not be happier. Declan graduated with honours and is now studying law, which we will admit we would rather him study something else but he is a very bright young man and when we all stood there at his graduation with my dear old friend Tom, it was then I knew the choice I made all those years ago was the right course of action.

After six months of me being home I finally got my loving caring daughter back, she had been fighting so hard with us all, but she relented in the end and she is turning into a stunning young woman and Jennifer and I could not be more proud of her. It took her six months but she admitted to being bullied at school and asked if she could go to boarding school, so she half boards there, she settled in so well, she wants to become a vet thank god she has no dreams of following in our footsteps I doubt Jennifer and I would cope if she told us she wanted to be a profiler.

My little man what can I say, he still follows me around and our bond is stronger than ever, five years ago I know that I made the right choice even before the bomb went off. It truly was the best thing for our family, he is doing well at school he did though have some adjustment problems but he has settled in completely now. He takes after Jennifer; he has me wrapped around his little finger so it is up to her to install the discipline I just do not have the heart to do it.

Jessica she is just a bundle of joy she turned five a few months ago and that was when she informed us she had a boyfriend, well me and Jennifer could help the fits of laughter that fell from our mouths which made her pout for all of five seconds.

And then there is my beautiful wife my strength and also my weakness, we have both been blessed twice more these last five years Jennifer gave birth to the twins three years ago Amy Jane and William John, we have all named our children after people we have loved and lost, our home is filled with laughter and joy and there is not a day that goes by that we aren't thankful for.

Two years after my accident I walked back through the doors of the FBI and became a teacher, training the new recruits, though I still have pain from all the operations I had and the other damage that was caused through the accident I could not be happier or more proud of the people I worked with.

Jennifer and I are so much stronger now we have overcome so much, but we both would not change a thing in our lives. After being so broken we have become truly blessed through our children and our families without their strength and love none of us would have made it this far. There had been so many times I wanted to give up so many times I could not face another day but they all pulled us through. We always have and always will be a family a strong bond that began 14 years ago and keeps growing.

 


End file.
